I haven't cleaned my house in 3 years. Wait, let me explain. You see, back in 2003 when we moved into a 100-year-old restored Victorian home I inherited Trini, the McKenna's cleaning lady of 18 years. I knew that with a full time job and commuting into Manhattan, there was no way I could maintain cleanliness of this 3-story mansion. I welcomed Trini with open arms and we became fast friends.
Trini is from El Salvador, married with 2 children and as far as I'm concerned, a domestic mastermind. How she cleans this house in 5 hours every week still baffles me. First floor, great room, kitchen, living room, dining room, _ bath. Second floor, 3 bedrooms, full bath. Third floor, master bedroom suite, full bath. It would take me 5 hours to convince myself to start to clean the house…which brings me to my current level of distress and suffering. Trini is on vacation. Last time I survived because it was only 3 weeks, I was able to “fake clean”, you know, a quick vacuum job, dust only what absolutely needs to be dusted, throw toilet cleaner and brush vigorously…but that isn't going to work for 6 weeks. I'm going to have to really clean, like Trini…but I don't want to. I have become spoiled. Household chores are no longer on my list of things I have to do. I don't think about it anymore. It just gets done, by someone else, Trini, the Goddess of Ajax.
Week 3 has now passed and the dust bunnies are rampant, the bathrooms need attention, the furniture is begging for Pledge and, the cleaning supplies taunt me every time I walk by them…it doesn't work. I didn't clean yet. I need a plan. A great plan.