Heavy rain all day wiped out what was left of the snow. I ventured out to browse at Barnes and Noble. Picked up a 2010 calendar with a Zen theme, a day book, 2 books by Anais Nin, and a mini laptop desk...no more hot lap!
I wasn't going to put up a tree in the apartment... last Saturday, before
the storm I was driving by Atlantic Nursery, something in me made me
pull into their lot and I thought, if there is a tiny artificial lit
tree, I'll get it... somehow, there was this purple and blue tree,
perfect, it was made for me and my apartment, so I bought it and it is
in the living room... it makes me feel better and drives away the
sadness that the holidays have become.
Humans, unfortunately, are creatures of habit... it is why I've been
blue this holiday season... all my routines, prep and execution haven't
been performed. I'm out of whack. It is time to move on. What was is
now past... the good, the bad... its done, finished. Remember the
good, learn from the bad.
Holiday traditions and rituals become old and stale... I've realized that the joy, warmth, and
happiness is achieved and maintained by creating new experiences with
the special people in our lives.
I had a very unique Christmas Eve and Christmas morning this year... I'm grateful for the special person that brought magic and joy to my Christmas this year...
I bought a purple
nano this evening... the mac geekery will keep me occupied-and it
shoots video!...and it will look better on my waist than indulging in
booze, fried food, and massive amounts of chocolate.
Mom was meeting friends in NYC for the 5pm "Christmas Spectacular" show at Radio City Music Hall.
Since I commute in via my Mini Cooper I picked her up in Queens on my
way in and dropped her off right in front. Went down 50th, bumper to
bumper, took forever, but I wanted her to see the tree at Rockefeller
Center...so, the creeping up from 2nd Avenue to 6th was worth it...for
Mom. It was beautiful... but... in my current mood of "are the
holidays over and is it Jan. 1 yet?... I really couldn't appreciate
it. This is my first holiday season without all the usual routines...
and I'm feeling blue about it all... my current, very complicated love
life isn't helping... so, bring on 2010... I'm done with 2009.
I'm a typical
suburbanite... commute in, work, get out and head home... no tourist
stuff. Once in awhile I get to accidentally appreciate the local
sights. As a kid I
remember going to Radio City to see movies there, and back then you got
the Rockettes show also. Very cool. I remember seeing my favorite
John Wayne movie, "True Grit" there... that was 1969... I was 8... wow... 40 years ago.