Awake.In:::DreamSpace:::

I'm grateful that the wisdom of living in the moment is becoming my reality...

Much pain and suffering comes from the attachment to special days assigned during the year where we are supposed to be extra happy and everything in our lives is supposed to be perfect.  We obsess and plan for months... weeks... days... leading to the 24 hour period where all must be exact.  We try and control everything and everyone around us... we prepare foods and drinks... we buy gifts... we have grand expectations from the people who surround us during these "holiday" 24 hour timespans...  many times... much dissapointment follows.

We forget that all the days leading to the moment and following the moment are just as important...  Perhaps, they are the most important of all...  They outnumber the assigned "special days"...  We don't realize that everyday is a holiday that should be celebrated. 

So, today, I visited my Mom... I couldn't be with her or the rest of my family on Christmas Day due to my work schedule... so I celebrated on other days... Dec. 12th, Dec. 20th, Dec. 30th, Jan. 9th,  Jan. 11th... and today, Jan. 12th...  Seems, I celebrated a whole lot more than just within a 24 hour assigned day...  Check all my grateful posts for the days between those days... filled with moments of celebrating life... everyday...  no big plans or attachment to outcomes...  just living in the moment.  Try it.

I'm grateful that my nephew Chris and I shared a wonderful day at the Fire Island Lighthouse and National Seashore.

We drove to Robert Moses State Park and parked in Field #5 and walked the 3/4mile boardwalk to the Fire Island Lighthouse.

Chris is leaving on Monday for Parris Island where he will start his United States Marine Corps contract beginning with 3 months of boot camp.  I'm going to miss you!!!  I'm very happy that you are so excited about finally reaching this stage of your adventure to become a military aircraft mechanic... you have worked hard the last 5 years at Aviation High School prepping for this!

On our way back we took the path to the seashore...

Who says it has to be Summer and 90degrees to sit on the beach?

Epic Chris!

The future is NOW...

Love you Chris!  Live your dreams!

I'm grateful that I was able to meet my Sister and Mom at the Barnes & Noble on the Upper East Side for the Douglas Preson & Lincoln Child Q&A and book signing.

Cathy was very excited and happy to meet the authors again.  Their new book "Gideon's Corpse" was released today.  If you are unfamilar with their work, check out their website http://www.prestonchild.com/  My favorite novel is "Cabinet Of Curiosities"... set in turn of the century NYC and the present day...  If you are a fan of the Museum of National History... "Relic" is a must read...  and you get to meet AXL Pendergast... my favorite literary character... 

Preston & Child groupies.

I'm grateful that Trish and Bill's doggie Monty is feeling much better!

Trish had to work late today and I would be home early, so I went to let Monty out in the yard for a stroll.  He bopped around and did his business.  Monty was very sick around holiday time and it didn't look good... but he has been diagnosed and has been prescribed some meds and he is much better.  Monty was chomping on some milk bones before I left.

Trish and Bill also have a new addition to their family... just arrived last Sunday... no official name yet...  After the sadness of losing Mr. Chin and the worry of Monty being so ill, this is now a joyful time for everyone in the family.  Happy New Year!

I'm also very grateful for another amazing sunset at Long Beach this afternoon...

I like being at the edge of the ocean... it's a place in this reality as close to nirvana as I have gotten.

Powerful magic...

wind...

sun...

ocean...

and me!

The song "Edge Of The Ocean" by Ivy, resonates in me... enjoy a listen...

There's a place I dream about
Where the sun never goes out.
And the sky is deep and blue.
Won't you take me there with you.

Oh, we can begin again.
Shed our skin, let the sun shine in.
At the edge of the ocean
We can start over again.

Shaa lah lah lah lah lah lah
Sha lah lah
Sha lah lah
Shaa lah lah lah lah lah lah
Sha lah lah
Sha lah lah

There's a world I've always known
Somewhere far away from home
When I close my eyes I see
All the space and mystery

Ohhh, we can begin again
Shed our skin, let the sun shine in
At the edge of the ocean
We can start over again

Sha lah lah lah lah lah lah
Sha lah lah
Sha lah lah
Sha lah lah lah lah lah lah
Sha lah lah
Sha lah lah

Oh, we can begin again
Shed our skin, let the sun shine in
At the edge of the ocean
We can start over again

At the edge of the ocean
We can start over again

Sha lah lah lah lah lah lah
Sha lah lah
Sha lah lah
Sha lah lah lah lah lah lah
Sha lah lah

I'm grateful for the thrill of Koda's lucky find.

This afternoon's walk with Koda was lucky!  She found 10 dollars...  As I have mentioned before, Koda likes to shred paper... so when this was in the street, she brought it to my attention when she went to grab it.  :D

What should we spend it on?

I'm grateful for a sign.

Life is filled with messages in the form of signs.  Most of the time, the signs are there to provide information.  Once in a awhile, the sign is a life message... something that isn't obvious or understandable...  most of the time we keep walking and never see it or give it another thought...  If you are lucky, they usually whack you in the head when they want you to pay attention...

Today, I was walking Koda on a path and saw this sign... We were walking towards it with the arrow pointing towards us, I thought of turning around and following the arrow to see where it led but I didn't.  We walked a bit further and I saw another one, but it was faded and hardly noticeable... We kept walking...  about 10 minutes later I experienced a personal moment where I faced something I haven't wanted to face.  So, the sign was there...  was it there to tell me to turn around or was it there to keep me walking towards the spiral?...

Spirals are fascinating, I have always liked the symmetry of them, have doodled them since I was a kid with a notebook... I have a spiral necklace that I wear most of the time.  They are cosmic... Exist throughout nature... They have been associated with the cycle of birth, growth, death, and rebirth...  The association of a spiral that resonates within me is the symbol of a spiritual journey... We pass the same point over and over again but from a different perspective each time...  further outside from the center where we started...  each time we go around, we have a chance to advance our mind if we have learned something within the turns of the spiral through our life journey.

Today, I believe the sign was there for me to see the same point from a different perspective...  it appears I just completed a turn of my life spiral.

I'm grateful that the doctor found no problems during my colonoscopy today. I'm also grateful that I woke up from anesthesia.

Carol picked me up at 7am, we arrived at the Meadowbrook Endoscopy Center at 7:30am, I was prepped and in the procedure room by 8:05am, procedure started at 8:15am, I woke up at 8:38am.  I'm very fortunate that all went smoothly.  Once again, if you haven't had this test since you turned 50, see your doctor and schedule one.

This is the beautiful sunrise Carol and I saw on the Loop Parkway as she drove me to the test.

Check out this little statue on a rock that Carol spotted as she parked the car.

Breakfast! 

Thank you Carol for driving me to the test and getting me back home.  :)

I'm grateful that I have now completed my prep for the colonoscopy tomorrow morning.

Turning 50 means many things.  One of those is that you should get your first colonoscopy.

One needs a clean colon so the doc can see... Fun Colonoscopy Prep Facts:

• No food after midnight the night before you prep.
• Take 4 Dulcolax tablets at 2pm... you are taking 4 days of dosage in one.
• Mix 64oz of clear fluid with 268g of MiraLax... you are drinking 2 weeks dosage in a few hours.  I chose lemon-lime gatorade since I dehydrate easily...
• Please note... the MiraLax is flavorless so the gatorade taste isn't compromised... while sipping, think of it as a Colonoscopy Margarita.

This all sounds bad, yet it really isn't at all.  Some discomfort and staying at home for the day is a minor inconvenience in order to find out that your colon is healthy.  The doctor is looking for polyps or any other abnormalities.  If polyps are found, they are removed and later biopsied.  This is a test that can detect a problem before symptoms develop and treat it when it is most curable.

If you are 50 and haven't had one.  Talk to your doctor and schedule one.  It can save your life.

Thinking of you my good friend Tom Thorman... Tom passed in March of 2010 from colon cancer...

I'm grateful for an unexpected evening with a friend.

Plans are nice to look forward to but when things work out in the moment, I have found that they turn out the best.

After I cleaned up the kitchen, I went to the bedroom and found Koda had shredded a tissue and was eyeing the box for more ...

Koda loves to shred tissues and paper towels...  She does it with such enjoyment... And then it dawned on me...  Koda lives in the moment, accepts what comes her way, has gratitude for what she gets and loves unconditionally.  She finds joy in everything... even shredding a tissue.  I can learn a lot from my dog.

"Happiness is a box of tissues to shred" ~Koda

I love the quote...  "My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am."  ~Author Unknown

I'm grateful that I kept mindful at work today.

A conflict with a colleague in another department occurred at work yesterday...  There it was, only the second day of the new year and wham, here Trudy, this is your first opportunity to practice Dharma.  If the same incident occurred a year ago, I would have become angry, raised my voice to an inappropriate level, and plotted my retaliation.  But that was then...  even though today there was no true resolution to the issues that led to the event, I wasn't feeling regretful of my behavior since I had kept mindful and in control. 

Yes, it was difficult, old habits are difficult to break but it is possible...  one drama at a time...

"More Dharma, Less Drama"  (from a decal I purchased at the International Kadampa Fall Festival last year).